Parenting is rewarding, but also involves a lot of work. It is not unusual for parents (especially first-time parents) to feel overwhelmed and exhausted by their responsibilities. Every parent wants the best for their child. Sometimes, parents become so obsessed with their kids’ happiness that they go to extreme lengths to fulfill their desires.
Parents must understand that parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. They need to be very patient with their kids. Before reprimanding their child for an act they don’t approve of, they must introspect and find out their own faults. Raising a child is one of the most demanding jobs in the world. Parents must stay focused and ask themselves these questions every day to know if they are doing a good job.
1. What Are My Parenting Goals?
No one becomes a great parent overnight. The first step to good parenting is creating and tweaking parenting goals regularly. Parenting goals can be different for different people. When setting your parenting goals, think about things you want to change about yourself.
Do you yell too much? Do you lose your patience quickly? Do you want to spend more quality time with your kids and family? Once you have clarity regarding what you want to fix, improve, or change, setting parenting goals will become easier.
Come up with a plan to make daily progress towards your goals. Before starting to use methods to shape your child’s behavior, invest time in changing yourself to become the parent you want to be.
2. Do I Reflect the Behavior or Demonstrate Qualities I Want My Child to Exhibit?
Children learn from their parents. You are your child’s role model, and you must be very careful about what you say, and how you act and behave in front of your children. Instead of just teaching your kids the importance of good and ethical behavior and etiquette, lead by example.
If you want your kids to be respectful of others, treat everyone around you with respect. If you want your child to be honest, be honest with them. If you demand that your child acts in a certain manner, but fail to show them what you expect of them, you may unknowingly distance yourself from them.
3. Do I Say Positive Things to My Child?
A child’s mind is like wet cement, whatever falls on it makes an impression. The words that you say to your child every day have a significant impact on their overall development and attitude towards life.
To build your child’s self-esteem and make them feel supported and loved, say positive things to them every day. Tell them that you are proud of them and have complete faith in their abilities. Assure your child that you will always be there for them.
4. Do I Admit My Mistakes When I’m Wrong?
No one can be right all the time. If you mess up, there is no harm in accepting your mistake. Remember, many kids want everything to be fair. Every time you fail to acknowledge your mistake, you set a bad example.
While you may believe that admitting your mistake will make you look weak as a parent, think about what your children will learn from your behavior. When you admit and correct your mistakes, you teach your children to be willing to do the same. Embracing mistakes will open the door for improvement for your children, helping them refine their skills.
5. Do I Know My Kids?
Do you really know your kids? Do you know their likes and dislikes? Do you often have conversations with them on topics that interest them?
Children develop interests at a very young age. Have engaging and meaningful conversations with your child. Instead of trying to live your unfulfilled dreams through your kid, gauge their interests, and guide them in the right direction.
6. Do I Spend Enough Quality Time with My Child?
In today’s world, where professional obligations have taken precedence over personal commitments, many parents are unable to spend quality time with their kids. Children who spend more time with their parents have high self-worth. They are less likely to have behavior issues, and more likely to grow up into emotionally and mentally strong adults.
Do not let any opportunity to spend quality time with your kids pass you by. Watch their favorite TV shows with them, play with them, or be silly with them. Remember, you may feel foolish at times; however, the memories that you create today will stick with you for the rest of your life.
7. Do I Reprimand My Kids with Love?
Sometimes, reprimanding kids and clearly communicating that we do not approve of their actions is necessary. When scolding your children, instead of sounding frustrated and annoyed, end the conversation by telling them how much you love them.
8. Why Do I Want My Child to Be Successful?
Many parents measure their own success by how successful their kids are. They feel that they haven’t done a good job until their children measure up to their expectations. Such parents often unknowingly limit their children’s potential by forcing their restrictive definition of success on them.
Winning parents stand out from the rest. Instead of imposing their beliefs on their children and defining success for them, they let their kids create their own measure of success.
9. How Do I Speak to My Child?
Kids often become what their parents view of them. Successful parents know this. They are extra cautious while talking to them to avoid hurting their self-esteem, even when they do something wrong.
If, for instance, a child is caught stealing, instead of using phrases such as I’m disappointed in you or I’m ashamed of you or you are a bad/dishonest child, the parent must tell them that everyone considers the kid to be honest and the behavior was not expected of them.
Contact Us to Learn More
Have more parenting questions? Our team at Mendo Lake Women’s Clinic would be happy to answer all your questions. We also provide women’s health services. Profit-making has never been our motive. We are driven by a burning desire to help pregnant women make better decisions for themselves as well as their children.
Contact us to schedule an appointment.