What is the Difference Between Closed and Open Adoption?

We imagine it’s starting to sink in. You really are pregnant. We hope you’ve verified your pregnancy with free pregnancy testing at Mendo Lake Women’s Center and confirmed it with a free ultrasound. Now’s the time to consider your options. 

Why should you consider adoption?

Like your other two choices, abortion and parenting, adoption isn’t an easy decision. It requires a lot of support. However, if you’re working and/or going to school, having difficulties with finances or a relationship, or already taking care of others, adoption could be your best choice. 

Here are some of the benefits of choosing adoption:

• Adoptive families can provide proper healthcare, education, and better opportunities for your child
• Choosing an open adoption plan gives you ongoing contact with your child without the day-to-day responsibilities of motherhood
• You can find comfort in knowing you will always be a part of your child’s life story

Choosing an adoption coordinator

Choose a reputable adoption agency or lawyer. You need to work with someone you can trust. Your adoption coordinator should talk with you about the adoption process, the legal requirements for your state, and ask why you’re considering adoption. 

No one should pressure you to make an adoption plan or ask you to pay for their services. 

Making an adoption plan

There are many different ways to be a mother, adoption is one of them. You might get pushback from family and friends who don’t understand the importance of your adoption decision but rest assured you will always be your child’s mother.

As the birth mother, you decide what type of plan would be best for you and for your child. You are in complete control of the process. 

Closed Adoption

For a variety of reasons, some women feel it would be better not to be involved in the adoption planning. They could have a family or other relationship that isn’t healthy and would be dangerous for their child. Or, they feel remaining anonymous will help them move on with their lives. 

If this is your situation, choose a closed or confidential adoption. In a closed adoption, your coordinator will choose a couple based on your expectations. You won’t know each other’s names or exchange any identifying information. The original birth certificate is sealed to keep your name and location confidential. 

Open Adoption

Open adoption is the exact opposite. You choose the adopting family by viewing the bios they’ve submitted. With an open adoption plan, you give all of your identifying information to the adoptive couple and in turn, they share theirs with you. 

You can meet the couple before the birth and even request they come to the delivery room with you. Afterward, you and the adoptive family arrange meetings and conversations. In many cases, the birth mom becomes an additional member of the adoptive family.

There is also the possibility of a semi-open adoption which allows you to exchange letters and photos through a third party like your adoption agency or lawyer. You’ll know one another’s first names, but no other identifying information.

Is adoption right for you?  

Only you know if adoption is the right choice for you and your child. Every situation is unique and so is every woman’s choice. How can we help you?

Set up a no-cost appointment and let’s chat about this option as well as the others. We want to help you make a confident, empowered decision.